our couples therapists
Why choose our practice?
The hurdle that couples often face when seeking professional guidance is high, leading to procrastination. Now that you are almost overcoming this hurdle, it is crucial that both you and your partner feel comfortable enough to fully commit to the process. Feeling a connection with the therapist and having trust in the approach are vital. You can find more information about the approach and its scientific foundation in the frequently asked questions section. However, first and foremost, we would like to highlight who we are as therapists. This is because we understand, from our own experience, how significant the connection between the couple and the therapist is. Without ‘that’ connection and understanding, trust cannot be built; without trust, complete openness is hindered, and without openness, therapy may not yield successful outcomes.
‘We are more than the various educational qualifications we have attained or the approach we follow‘
We are deeply immersed in urban life and therefore personally familiar with both its joys and challenges. Each of us has, in our previous careers, earned our stripes in large corporations, within the consultancy field or journalism. Through our own experiences, we understand the impact that careers, social pressures, family- and social expectations can have on relationships.
We have ambitious and social partners who also strive to maximize their lives. We have wonderful children who, in their own unique way, have a significant impact on our energy, lives, and relationships. Thus, we truly comprehend the struggle to find time, attention, and balance
Furthermore; we are not soft and we don’t beat around the bush. The therapists at It Takes Two are energetic and attentive. We are discreet, involved, and empathetic, but that does not stop us from holding up a mirror to reflect your own behaviors and confronting you with them.
The proof of the pudding
‘We are not you, and we are not the same. However, when you look at our profiles, you will find that one of us resonates with the recognition you are seeking. Someone with whom you and your partner will feel safe and comfortable..’
We would be delighted to have the opportunity for a more personal introduction so that you can experience the aforementioned claim for yourselves. By clicking on the button below, you will be directed to our scheduling tool where you can book an appointment. During a 30-minute online conversation, we will get acquainted and see if there is a connection from your perspective. There will also be ample opportunity to ask questions about the approach and practical matters.
Couples therapist Amsterdam
Erik Schell
I derive energy from untangling the knot. It deeply affects me when people desire to connect but struggle to do so. When emotions and needs become so overwhelming that they remain unspoken. When vulnerability disappears, and hard secondary emotions such as anger, rage, or silence and detachment take their place. In my work as a couples therapist and personal coach, I help individuals reconnect with their emotions. I approach this task with pragmatism, realism, and a focus on concrete solutions, rather than taking a soft or abstract approach.
My background
After completing my master’s degree in psychology, I worked as a consultant for several years. During that time, I often encountered resistance and conflict. I discovered that as emotions, temperaments, and misunderstandings between parties escalated, a sense of calm washed over me, and my senses sharpened. I come alive when things become uncomfortable. I build bridges and strive for mutual understanding. I encourage people to truly listen before speaking themselves. I hold things together when the impulse is to walk away or, worse, let the situation escalate further. With my composure and tranquility, I can provide a secure base from where couples can start the conversation in a different way. In addition to my psychology studies, I have received supplementary training from institutions such as Phoenix Utrecht (Coaching | Systemic work) and the Dutch Foundation for Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
On A more personal note
I live in Amsterdam with my girlfriend Kim and our two children, Wende and Pepijn. Having navigated the intense early years of parenthood, along with a bustling social calendar and a demanding career, I fully grasp the effects that children and a carreer can have on a relationship. My purpose is to foster open and candid dialogue, removing any barriers or stigmas, as we embark on a journey towards greater connection and harmony.
Characteristics
Energetic | Sharp-minded | To the point | Sensitive | Pragmatic
Core Values and Traits
Curious | Solution oriented | Compassion with humor | Hands on | Investigative
At this time, Vanssa has temporarily paused accepting new clients due to high demand. This registration stop is in place to ensure we can continue providing the highest quality care and attention to our existing clients.
We understand this may be disappointing, and we encourage you to check back regularly for updates. Our team is working diligently to open up new spaces as soon as possible. In the meantime, feel free to explore the resources available on our website.
Couples therapist Amsterdam
Vanessa Lamsvelt
Registration stop / Intake freeze
From a sense of hopelessness to hope in a relatively short time. That’s what appeals to me in couples therapy. Couples often come in with the thought, ‘I don’t see how we’ll ever get through this‘ when facing relationship problems. Yet, I repeatedly witness significant transformations when partners gain insight into dysfunctional patterns and develop an understanding of each other’s triggers, emotions, and sensitivities.
Before becoming a couples therapist, I worked for many years as a journalist. In both psychology and journalism, I am intrigued by areas of friction. I am curious, warm, able to empathize well with both sides of the story, and prefer to get to the core quickly, preferably with a big smile and a heartfelt tear.
My background
In 2003, I graduated as a psychologist from the University of Amsterdam (UvA) and initially chose a path in journalism. After 20 successful years as a correspondent in Great Britain (RTLNieuws), television reporter, and co-presenter (EenVandaag), I found myself drawn back to psychology.
In addition to my master’s in psychology, I am an EFT-registered therapist®. I am a member of the Dutch Institute of Psychologists (NIP) and in training with the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (VGCt).
I have always maintained a strong international focus, conducting psychological research in Berlin, creating TV and radio reports in New York, Mumbai, Paris, and Brussels. As a correspondent from 2009 to 2015 in London, I lived and worked internationally. This global perspective also influences my approach as a couples therapist, where I enjoy working with diverse cultures and backgrounds.
About me
I am married to Jan, and together with our three children and dog, we live in Amsterdam. Our home can be incredibly cozy, and at times, things can get a bit fiery. I understand the feeling when communication falters, and I also know the immense satisfaction that comes from reconnecting with each other through honesty, vulnerability, and a touch of humor.